John gets a call from his Newfie friend, Bill.
"I've got a problem," says Bill.
"What's the matter?" asks John.
"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's just too hard. None of
the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" asks John.
"It's a picture of a big Rooster," replies Bill.
"All right," says John, " I'll come over and have a look."
He goes over to Bill's house. Bill leads John into his kitchen and
shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table. John looks at the jigsaw,
frowns, then turns to Bill and says, "For Pete's sake, Bill, put the Cornflakes back in the Box!"
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A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor the doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try, it takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father." So the married couple decided that they would try this. So the doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched from the mother to the father and the husband said "I feel okay turn it up a lot more" so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said "why don’t you just put it all on me cause I’m not feeling a thing" but the doctor warned them "this much could kill you if your not prepared", and the husband replied "I am ready "so the doctor turned the machine up to 100% but the husband didn’t fell a thing so they went home happy with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mailman was dead on the front porch!
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One day a Blonde decided to face her fears and go riding on a horse.
It was easy for her to get on and she was doing just fine until the horse started to go faster.
She started slipping off the saddle. She couldn’t hold on to the horse and her head started hitting the ground.
She was almost knocked unconscious when the Wal-Mart manager came out and unplugged the machine.
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